Follow The Nomad III: The Ukraine Contingency

Blinded by the light...

2007-08-24T05:28:00.000-07:00

...at the end of the tunnel.

Tie a yellow ribbon round the old oak tree…we’re comin’ home. The processes are all falling into place now…and our return is imminent. Carson’s passport is not actually in hand yet…but it was scheduled to arrive by train last evening by 10p. The passport has been printed…I believe “lost in transit” may be the proper phrase to use for it’s whereabouts the last several days. Luck would have it…today is Ukrainian Independence Day. The businesses are shut down and the city is prepped for a bacchanalia. There are huge stage sets in every major square…the vendors are setting their tents. I’m certain the party will be a big one…Ukrainians do love to drink. It is legal to walk the streets with open containers…and lukewarm beers are being enjoyed by many a passerby…at all hours of the day and night. There are also a number of rural communities literally dying because of the alcohol problems. But that’s another story…

I’m certain that the city will be filled with fireworks. I don’t believe that I have mentioned in the past…but fireworks are a daily occurrence in this country. Every…single…night. I love fireworks…they are one of my favorite joys in life. However…there is no set time for when they will go off…or where they will go off. On Saturday nights in Xapkib (Kharkiv)…there were no fewer than five displays surrounding our apartment. You heard them all…but you saw very few. I’ve seen them in Kyiv several times…as well as Odessa. I’m still not certain why they set them off as often as they do…no one seems to have the answer. It seems a very expensive activity…for a country in such need…but I will enjoy watching the face of the little man when he experiences his first fireworks this evening. We rarely head out after dark…it doesn’t actually get dark here until around 10p. It’s light again by 4a. The days are extremely long here…17-18 hours. However…tonight we will share the independence of Carson’s homeland with him for what will quite probably be the last time in his life. He will be American soon…of Ukrainian descent.

The last 10 days have been such incredible joy. All of the darkness that we have suffered in this country has seemed to fall by the wayside. The world through the eyes of this child is a delight to experience. It’s like a newborn child…in a four year old’s body. Everything is new to him. He loves to eat. And…he eats just about everything. He loves vegetables. He will eat whole tomatoes and cucumbers (the cukes here are smaller than ours back home) at a time. He will sit in a restaurant…and clean his plate. He’s not always an angel during his restaurant visits…but he’s learning. Dede definitely has her hands full…but she handles him very well. He loves to test the waters…and with the language barrier…it’s that much more difficult. However…she’s jumped into motherhood with all barrels loaded…and she wears the role beautifully. I couldn’t do it.

He’s learning English…and we are trying to transition away from the Russian phrases that we use with him. It’s unbelievably surprising to me how much of what we say that he actually understands. A Russian lady that sat next to us at a restaurant for lunch yesterday was amazed at him. We had talked with her for a little while…she had worked with the adoption process at one time. She understood the situation with him completely. When Dede asked him if his food was too hot…he shook his head “no”. When she asked him if it was good…he shook his head “yes.“ The woman leaned over and smiled with surprise that he got it. I’m telling you…this kid is brilliant. He‘s also a brilliant manipulator. I cannot for the love of me figure out how he learned some of his tricks…but he’s got a few. I’m certain that none of them worked on the Drill Sergeants at the orphanage…but he’s got some moves. When he’s done something that he’s not supposed to do…and he knows it…and he gets caught…he looks over…smiles…then comes to hug on you and give you a kiss. It’s really cute…but you’re still not playing with that electrical outlet Carson…it’s dangerous honey. He does this to Dede the most…she’s usually the one telling him “no.” Welllllllll…he’s her kid…I’m just Aunt Kelly…and with me…if it doesn’t hurt him…he’s probably gettin’ away with it…we’re buddies. Okay…so I’m not that bad…I make him behave…but I do usually leave the discipline to his mama. Like I said…he’s her kid. ; )

He visited the beach yesterday for the first time. We took the subway over (not his first trip…he’s subway savvy)…and he loved it. We swam in the Dnipro River…along with thousands of other Ukrainians. For a Wednesday…the place was packed. He’s taken to the water like a fish on holiday. He’s not at all afraid of going under…loves it actually. He jumps in the air and falls down into the water…and sinks below the surface…only to be snatched up by his mama or I with a face full of water…and laughter that makes your heart sing. He drank a few pints of that river too I’m afraid…but never bothered him for a second. He’d brush himself off…and take another flying leap. Water wings are certainly in this kid’s very near future. Little Kelley’s a waterbug too…she can show him the ropes.

As for now…we are preparing for the journey home. We leave Kyiv at 8:10p on Tuesday night arriving in Paris at 10:30p. We have a layover for the night…with a 9:20a flight on Wednesday morning. I have booked a room…but will try to figure out a way to take a late night trip into the city so Dede can at least see a few sights. Paris IS the “city of lights”…and at night is spectacular. She has talked about Paris for much of our stay here…and to at least take a ride down the Champs-Elycees…and to see the Eiffel Tower with all it’s strobes…would be warming for her soul I’m sure. We’ll see what we can do.

On Wednesday afternoon we arrive in Birmingham at around 4:30p. Of course…we are flying Delta (Don’t Ever Leave The Airport)…through Atlanta I might add…so we will cross our fingers that we are there on time. Our layover in Atlanta is about 3.5 hours…so that should be plenty of time to cover any faux pas. The one thing that has kept me going through much of this excruciating process…is imagining the look on the faces of family and friends back home when they lay eyes on this angel for the first time. The tears of joy that I’m certain will be shed when you hear him giggle…watch him strut…and listen to him carry on an entire conversation with you in Russian. He has a bit of a lisp (in the back of his mouth…not the front)…and Russian has lots of sh…ch…and zh sounds…it’s precious to hear him talk.

As for Dede and I…well…we can taste the Davenport’s pizza…Surin Tokyo rolls…and the Dreamland ribs we’re going to munch out on while watching the Tide take to the field for the first time this season. These are actually extra special to me…as I live in Colorado…have been out of the country since January…and have not been to Alabama since last summer. I’m really salivating for my faves. For me though…first on the menu is a Milo’s double cheeseburger. The sloppier…the better. All we’ve done is eat for 9 weeks…but it’s all we think about back in the U.S. of A. too. Okay…well…we do think about seeing all of you…really…we do…while sitting over a Davenport’s pizza…of course. ; )

I am continuing to take pictures…but will only post a few more before we return home. I will continue to take pics of the trip home…and will post those upon our return. You may not hear from me again before our return unless something crazy happens…but I will update back in the states. There are many more stories to tell than I have had the opportunity to post…but those will be told in time…over pizzas…sushi…a bottle of red wine perhaps. This adventure is still in the embryonic stages. Dede…cheers to you my friend…I love him as much as I’ve ever loved another human being…but honey…you’ve got your hands full. I will raise my glass to you again and again…for the sleepless nights…the exhausted days…the exhilarations and the heartaches. But more than anything…I thank you…for bringing this little man into my life…and for giving him the gift of life. It is as admirable an endeavor as I have ever witnessed. Cheers to you!!!

Das vadanya....

Peace...

Oh what a beautiful child!!!!

2007-08-17T14:09:00.000-07:00

The town of Losova, Ukraine is a small one. When you imagine soviet Russia…it is this town. The buildings are stark…timeworn…unpretentious. Small farms border the city on all sides…a patchwork of small plots of land sowed and reaped for years by the inhabitants of the small towns that are much the fabric of rural Ukraine. (Notwithstanding the years of Stalin‘s “collective farming” in the now defunct Soviet Union). There are no stoplights in the town…no benches in the city park. There are memorials…as are everywhere…of soviet times…soldiers of wars won…and lost. We find our seats on a nearby curb…as we wait for the government to generate new birth rights to a once lost child. His name has been officially changed now…he will be American soon. We still call him Danya…I’m not certain how the transition will be made. I tell his mother that he will always be ‘Danya’ to me. “That’s okay” I am told. My “pet name” perhaps for a child that will hold the largest place in my heart of anyone I’ve encountered in life thus far. He will forever remind me of the year I spent one summer in the country of his birth.

He is dressed in a pair of cacky “Spyder” shorts and a red…gray…and white striped hooded shirt as he walks down the hallway of the orphanage for the last time. He is solemn…as is always his demeanor when surrounded by authority. Uncertainty in his face as his caretakers…the only family he has ever known…say “paka” for the last time. This place will be a distant memory in his young mind soon…a place forgotten in time. His friends will continue to parade around in their underwear on hot summer days…playing with broken toys…soiled dolls…and conversing with each other in the soon to be forgotten dialect of his homeland.

We pile into the back of the taxi…Danya on his mother’s lap…staring out the window at a world he has never seen. There are several stops to be made before he is alone with us for the first time…before he is free. The application for his passport takes us to several government buildings…finally the local police station for photos and signatures. A storm has blown in as we run back to the taxi for the final leg of his trip to freedom. The streets flood here with the lightest of showers…this day a river runs through the center of Xapkib (Kharkiv) as Dede nearly takes a spill…her new son in her arms. Someone is watching down upon her as she narrowly escapes disaster.

Curiosity is the event of the evening as Danya is let loose to explore his new surroundings. First act on the playbill is a hot bath. Wow…what a show!! Excited does not begin to describe the emotion of this young boy as he splashes around the bathtub this first night…and…well…every night since. I believe it is his favorite time of the day. The parks…fountains…new friends…all great…but bath time is his biggest thrill. He flops around like a fish out of water…giggles…designs elaborate sculptures in his hair…and is not afraid for one second to dunk his head completely under water…only to come up giggling yet again. Brushing his teeth…now that’s another issue…but he’s getting there. At least the faces he makes while the minty freshness of the toothpaste explodes in his mouth are priceless.

We manage to settle him down long enough to cut the “mullet” that they find so stylish on this side of the globe out of his hair. I’m certain that there are still people in our country who find this haircut fashionable…I’m here to tell you…it’s not! Actually…it was quite cute on him…as anything would be cute on such a beautiful child. However…we both sighed with relief…as the hair hit the kitchen floor. It’s so much cuter now.

He bounced back and forth from their room to my room…jumping across the bed…the sofa…dumping Legos…hiding in closets. His first meal was a concoction of chicken noodle soup that I created using Knorr Swiss soup mix and ramen noodles. It wasn’t half bad…Dede and I ate the same. That with a few saltines and several chunks of cheese…he was a happy boy. Oh yes…and there were a few little morsels of junk food thrown in for a first night treat. However…since there’s a nutritionist in the family…we’ll keep that part under raps… ; ) (ss).

Sleep didn’t necessarily come easy that first night…but there were never any tears. Too much excitement to actually lay down and close his eyes. Once settled in however…the zz’s began to flow. We had to be up bright and early for a 7am train to Kyiv…another adventure in itself…another blog.

I apologize for not posting sooner…but all of you parents out there know how busy a 4-year old can keep you. I wanted you to know that he is safely with his mama…and we are all having the time of our lives. I am downloading the 724 (I can't stop myself) pictures that I have snapped the last several days…and I will post some new ones over the weekend as well as a new story or two. We are waiting now on his passport which we hope to have by the end of next week…then it’s off to the American embassy for his visa. Some time in between he has to see a doctor for an exam in order to get his visa. The rest of the time is spent playing in the park…the fountain…on the playground…a trip down the river on a boat…and on…and on…. All new experiences to him. All a joy to experience with him. I will tell all…when I have time…and energy… : )

Love and peace to all back home…we soooo hope to see you soon. It will never however…be soon enough…

Das vadanya…

Your humble host...
The Bloggin' Nomad

From the heart...

2007-08-09T01:50:00.000-07:00

Thanks!I usually leave all the blog postings to Kelly (we all know why!!)....but today is my turn. It won't be written as eloquently as her blogs...but this is from the heart, so here goes..I want to thank each and everyone of you for all your thoughts and prayers. I am so very blessed to be surrounded by such wonderful family, coworkers and friends (one in the same). The phone calls, e-mails and comments on the blog have kept me going throughout this long and difficult process. The thought of stepping off that plane and being back home brings tears to my eyes...Then again, tears come easily to me these days. The endless sight of little old ladies with their cups in hand begging for change..all the other kids in Carson's orphanage who won't be adopted..and last but not least all the homeless animals that roam the streets. I will never forget this place nor it's people and all the struggles they face on a daily basis..

A special thank you is in order for Dr. K. Conaty. He and I had a conversation while working together in MRI one day, over 2 1/2 years ago... I remember that day well .He told me about adopting his daughters from the Ukraine and that he was a facilitator for families that wished to adopt from that country. Little did I know it would take this long, nor that I would stay in this country for nearly 7 weeks to get my child..but I have to say that every time I see Carson...the wait has been well worth it. Dr Conaty did give me fair warning about the trials and tribulations of adopting from the Ukraine...so I kind of had an idea about what I was getting into when I accepted this adventure... I will forever be grateful for all your support not only since my arrival here but for all the paper work and e-mails you had to walk me through to get to this point. I am so thankful and I already love your daughters...not only for translating for me but for the great help they will be to Carson in his transition to a whole new world. From the bottom of my heart...Thank you

So many things in my life that seemed so important before.... just aren't anymore. I see things so differently now..through the eyes of my son. He is the most precious thing in the world and will forever be my best friend.. I only hope that I can be half the parent to him that my parents are to me..I'm the luckiest daughter in the world..I thank God daily for the journey of my life because after 45 years I finally know what my purpose is...to be the best mother I can be to Carson and to give him the opportunity to have a wonderful life.

I mention Kelly Wilson last only because words do not come so easily for someone that has given up so much to be here with me. How do you thank someone for giving up 7-8 weeks of their life to be in a 3rd world country (with no a/c, not many smiling faces to see, barely anyone speaks English, not to mention we are stared at on a daily basis)... so I could make it through this place...I will forever be grateful and know that God worked things out how they should be. I will always have this blog to share with Carson so that he will know the true experience, and the lengths we went through to get him to America, what a better way to show him than through her words and photography..

I am not certain when I will return home with my son. The process is ongoing. I look forward to thanking each of you personally..but for now..from the bottom of my heart.. Thank you…

The last thing I will say is..the one person that I wish could meet my incredible son the most, would be my brother Randy...but I know he is smiling from above......

Always, Dede

There are priorities...and there are PRIORITIES!!!

2007-08-05T04:15:00.000-07:00

Yesterday morning...I stepped out of our apartment...and was hit with a feeling that only some of you will understand. Those of you who do...are the fortunate ones. You see...the temperature here has dropped considerably over the last several days. The clouds have rolled in...the rains have fallen...and the air has cooled immensely. It was immediate as I walked out the door...that feeling. You see...the sky was cornflower blue...the breeze just thick enough that the leaves rustled in the tops of the trees. You know the sound...like a light Spring shower falling on a tin roof. The air was cool...crisp. I felt the butterflies waking up deep inside...the flutter causing a feeling of euphoria that the select few will understand. The smell in the air...from 5000 miles away...I could still smell it. Yes ladies and gentlemen...it was that familiar smell that you only experience on a Saturday morning in the Fall. It was the smell...of FOOTBALL!!! Yes...you know the one. That smell thats in the air when you walk out of the house early on a Saturday morning...Bloody Mary in hand...crimson the dress...flags on the Tahoe. Your family and friends surround you...the outside world set aside for the day. There is only one thing that matters...football! Well..."winning" at football. The same routine happens even when you lose...but only "winning" really counts. It is less than a month from that first national anthem...the first "Yea Alabama" blasting from the horns of the "million dollar band"...the first kick-off of the season. We will all be in attendance...whether at the stadium...the local sports bar...or comfy in the a/c of our homes in front of the 60 inch screen. But in our hearts...we are all in the very same place. Those of you who understand...get me...those who don't...I am very sorry. There is nothing like it...anywhere. And...I want to assure all of you...that the process has already begun here in Ukraine. The first lesson that you teach a young child...the first words out of a young one's mouth...and here it is.....

I'm sorry young Danya...I'm not quite certain I heard you...what was that you said?

Roooollll Tiiiiide!!!

Yes...that's what I thought you said.....

Okay...so...I hope that eases everyone's minds about whether Danya has received proper parenting. Yes...Dede has her priorities in line...first things first.

People...I present to you the starting QB for the 2023 Alabama Crimson Tide...

Carsoooooooooooooon Farriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis!!!

That's his endzone strut!!!!

Practices have begun...the countdowns right behind. We are monitoring from here. We can only hope...(oh God please)...that we are home for kick-off! I cannot imagine it any other way. I will NOT allow myself to imagine it any other way.

Many thanks to Stacey...Al...and Jack for the t-shirt and the ball...what a surprise in our incredible package. (They sent us 20 movies!!!...it's better than Christmas!!)

It's one week and counting until the little man leaves through the walls of the only home he's ever known...to land in a strange apartment with two middle-aged women who understand not a word that comes out of his mouth. Pray for him people... : )

I am posting new pics in the gallery at the bottom...

Love & Peace to all...

And a word of caution...anyone who pollutes my blog...and you know what I mean...will be banned for life!!! Just try me......

.....hehehehehehehe...... (you think I'm kidding ; ) )

ROLLLLLLLLLLL TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDE ROLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!

Cheers!!

2007-08-02T04:44:00.000-07:00

It's official!!! Dede's a mama!!! Well...okay...so there's a 10-day grace period that anyone in his family can appeal the adoption...except of course his mother...whose rights were terminated by the court. The father is unknown...and Nina says that she has never had anyone step up and appeal an adoption process since she's been working in the field. It has been four years...we are pretty certain that nothing will happen at this point. We are celebrating!!

The court process took about 45 minutes. The questions were basic...what do you do...how much money do you make...is your family supportive...and so on and so forth. I did not go into the courtroom with her...she was accompanied by Nina (the translator)...the physician from the orphanage...and a social worker. It took the judge about 5 minutes after questioning to make her decision...cheers!!!

After we left the courthouse (which was basically a cement cinder block soviet era building)...we went back to the orphanage where Dede had Nina explain to Danya that he would be leaving with her soon and moving to America. She asked him if he understood...and he nodded (it's the cutest thing ever when he nods...just a one time he bows his head...you're gonna love it)...then she asked him if he wanted to go. Of course...another nod. We then took him off the premises of the orphanage to a camera store to have his official passport photo made. He sat in Dede's lap (not a lot of carseat usage in this country)...and stared out the windows at everything we passed. He was very quiet...and quite amazed. I'm certain he's only left one or two times in his lifetime. We are so curious to see his reaction upon boarding and riding a train...and OMG...an airplane?! He was so well-behaved as he sat to have his photo made. He is truly a little gentleman. He will fit into the South and it's well-mannered culture perfectly.

So...now we wait. We cannot officially apply for his passport until after the 10-day grace period is over. As I have mentioned before...Ukraine is undergoing quite a few changes in their system...so we are not certain how long that will take. We are trying to get a little help in pushing the process through...but that's all a gamble. After the passport...it's off to the American Embassy for a visa. That should take a few days at most. We still have no idea when we will be coming home. Sorry...but I promise you...it hurts us way more than it hurts all of you. : )

Tonight...at 8pm Ukrainian time...I will toast to Dede and her new son. Wherever you are at that moment...noon in the southeast...11am mountain time...and 1pm eastern...raise your glasses with me. We will toast around the world...to the happiest moment of her life. We will all toast again together when we return...but today...August 2nd...is a day to remember.

Thank you all for your love and support...

Peace...

Kelly...Dede...& Carson

P.S. I understand that some of you are having difficulty posting comments. Go back through the archives and check out my very first post. It details how to do it. I'm not certain if that helps...I think that it just might be the blogger itself. We're getting your emails however...so all is well.

Hurry up & wait...

2007-07-30T06:47:00.000-07:00

Hello friends...

There's really not much new going on here. We did finally find our way to an electronics store and Dede did indeed purchase a video camera. It's been quite fun getting the little guy on film. However...you'll have to wait to view them...as I haven't a clue how to download them to my computer...all the instructions are in Russian. I did find a manual online in English...and have downloaded it...so maybe we can figure something out...but for now...it's words...and pics.

At the electronics store Dede also purchased a microwave oven. Yep...that's right...I said microwave. She's been "jonesing" for microwave popcorn for over a month...and now we have it every night. She'll donate it to the orphanage when we leave. Her third purchase that day was a fan. She bought one for my room when we first arrived...but the battery powered one she has is getting quite expensive as it uses up the batteries quickly...and for $18 bucks...why not buy a bigger & better one. Both of those will be donated as well. When she pulled out her Visa card at the store...panic ensued. It was as if she'd pulled a gun on the salesgirl...really. We couldn't figure out what the problem was...but it was definitely a problem. Once all the items were rounded up...it took 4 people behind the "kaca" (cash) counter to ring everything up. Every single item was rung up and the card run separately...including each separate dvd for the camera. I'm not certain how many slips she signed...but it was around 7 I guess. We still can't figure out that system...but know that Best Buy sure makes it much easier to make multi-purchases.

We are 3 days now from the court date. I think the nerves are setting in a bit. The French couple we visit with every day went last Thursday...and they said it took 45 minutes in court...and 10 minutes for the judge to make a decision. When Dede asked Nina (the facilitator) if she would apply for his passport that day...she told Dede "Let's just make it through court first." This of course concerned Dede (and me) quite a bit...but Dr. Conaty says that he has never seen anyone denied the adoption during the court proceedings. She could still use some prayers...as nothing is complete until that judge says "OK." I will update you immediately after the court decision is handed down.

That's about all for today. I've been taking new pics and will post them soon. We spend more time with the video camera than the still one these days...but he seems to like the still camera better. He was a bit shy when the video camera first came out...but he's warming up to it day by day. He's also beginning to test Dede quite a bit. Not knowing how to discipline him (not knowing Russian)...is the biggest challenge. We are most concerned about that very long airplane ride home. However...we have a package arriving tomorrow with plenty of "Backyardigans" and other kiddie movies (and movies for us) to keep him occupied. Any suggestions would be welcomed. Just remember...we don't speak Russian...and he doesn't speak English. We can only hope that one of the flight attendents speaks both. We're picking up important phrases...and Dede's got an email out to Dr. Conaty's daughters for interpretation...so hopefully by the time we get to that point...we'll be better prepared.

Gotta run...

Peace...

The Gift

2007-07-26T07:06:00.000-07:00

He plucks a flower from the garden and carries it across the yard to a little girl in a stroller…he kisses her on the cheek. He plays peek-a-boo around every tree…every wall…even a baby carriage.

He prances when he walks…and dances in the puddles. He loves to hug and kiss…he says “please” and “thank you” (in both Russian and English). He’d rather play with an umbrella…than a ball. He’d rather play with a computer cable than a puzzle. He dumps his crayons on the floor…but picks them up…each and every one…and puts them back in the box…all points up.

The weather here is sweltering…he’s often in only underwear…leopard print. He wears his hat backwards…always. I fashioned a scarf as a cape…as Superman he struts.

He climbs…everything. He loves his mother’s backpack…and tries desperately to carry it on his own back. Every ten or so steps…he drops to the ground…giggles…and reaches out for Mama to help him up. When he can no longer carry it…he drags it. He will have one of his own before he sets off to America.

He’ll eat anything…and never misses a crumb. His mother’s transitioning him from granola bars to fruit…from Fanta to apple juice. We can’t read the packaging…so the nutritional value of everything is uncertain…but it’s only for a few weeks…all is well. So far his little tummy has handled everything that he has been given…a blessing.

When he has to “teetee“…he heads behind the nearest tree…wall…or even the edge of the garden. He’s not shy…if he’s gotta go…he goes.

Beneath the veneer of the little lamb we met just one week ago however…lies a wolf just raring to bare those jagged little fangs. He is all boy. On the surface…he oozes honey…yet just below lies a mischievous nature testing the waters with each new encounter. He is determined…stubborn…and cocky. The challenge has begun.

He understands “No!”…but doesn’t always like it…and doesn’t always respond. He’s yet to throw a tantrum…but cocks his head…slants his eyes…and threatens one. He’s knocked his noggin’ or scuffed his knees more than a few times…with nary a tear. He’s a tough one this little fella’.

When it’s time to say good-bye…he accepts it with grace. Yesterday however…Dede went to take him back…and he cried. She gave him a few more minutes…and all was well. Sometimes…as we get close to his group…he just turns around…looks at us…waves…and says “Paca” (good-bye)…and rejoins his little friends.

Every visit is a new adventure…another little fragment of his character discovered. The adventure…has just begun.

Until next time…

Peace!

P.S. There are more new pics below...

What a reception!!!

2007-07-24T04:42:00.000-07:00

Wow...what a reception for the little guy!! Thank you all so much for sending your love...support...and kind words. We have been shopping today for a video camera...to not avail. We know where to find one...we just can't find that store again. We will...but don't get too excited...it doesn't mean we can get video to you. I will try very hard to figure out a way...I have some ideas. Other than that...I do not have my laptop with me right now...therefore I can not post new pics. However...I have many...and will get them posted either tonight or in the morning. Also...I've been taking lots of notes as I watch him play...and get to know more about who he is...his personality...etc. He has warmed up so comfortably to Dede and is really coming more and more out of his shell. He gets more precious every day.

A court date has been set for Thursday, August 2nd. Nina will try to get it pushed sooner...but there's a slim chance of that happening. After the court date...there is a 10 day grace period. Dede has to apply for a passport which can take a little while as they are in the process of changing every passport in the country. I am not certain...but I hope that process runs concurrently with the grace period. After all of this is complete...we will return to Kyiv where she must apply for an American Visa. We are told that we should give at least 3 days between setting the meeting with the American Embassy and a travel date. Yes...if you add all that up...we're hoping to be home by Christmas. Okay...at least by Labor Day...lol. Actually...if all goes well...maybe 3-4 more weeks. It can't come soon enough...I assure you.

That's it for now...

Peace...

It's a Boy!!!!

2007-07-21T10:12:00.000-07:00

We snuck out of town under the mask of darkness on an overnight train to the town of Kharkiv in Northern Ukraine near the Russian border. The car was stifling when we boarded…and we anticipated a very hot voyage through the night. Oh the relief when the a/c kicked in about 10 km outside of Kyiv. It took a while…but we cooled down to the point of comfort…and knew then we could tolerate the journey. Sleep did not come easy…it never does on trains…but we got a few hours in before the porter knocked to wake us …and to bring the absolute worst cup of coffee you could ever imagine. I’m not a coffee drinker…but I know Dede was disappointed as her early morning caffeine fix is a must.

We arrived in the station about 6:25am when Nina…the translator…met us at our cabin…and escorted us to check into the Hotel National to get settled in before our visit to the orphanage. At 9am we were picked up and taken to the social worker’s office to check all of Dede’s documents…then on to the baby orphanage to meet with the director and two physicians. After about an hour of discussion…we were introduced to Dede’s new son. Ladies & gentlemen…I would like to introduce to you…Carson Turner Farris…the most precious little man in Ukraine.

When he walked into the room…it lit up. I wasn’t looking in Dede’s direction…but I knew when my eyes teared up…that she was taking him home…whether she liked it or not. : ) It took no convincing on my part…she knew immediately too.

It has been a whirlwind few days…but it is so filled with joy…that nothing else matters. Finding internet access has been quite the challenge…but we have found a great I-net café near the university…not far from our apartment…and will be able to keep in better touch now. I have written so many blogs…but life is moving so fast…that once I’m through with one…it seems outdated as a new adventure begins. One day I will tell the whole story…but what is important now…is the precious little angel that God has given to my dear friend.

His Russian name is Danilo...he is called Danya (pronounced Donya). We still call him that...as we don't want to confuse him for now. Everyone around the orphanage will continue to call him that as long as he is there...so we will start to incorporate Carson sooner to leaving for home. He is 3 years 10 months and turns 4 on Sept. 19. He is a bit small for his age...but that is to be expected living his entire life in an orphanage. Other than size...he seems as healthy as could be. He may have a bit of a heart murmur...we will know more once he is completely checked out in the states.

He was abandoned at birth by his mother...who was 19 years old...and stayed in the hospital for about 2 months before being moved to the orphanage. The mother said that she would be back in a year...but after a year she was contacted...and did not return to see him. For the next year the court system worked very hard to find her...and with no success...they terminated her parental rights. He became available for adoption in April of this year...and Dede is the first mother given the opportunity to adopt him. Thank God!!! He would have been snatched up by anyone that laid eyes on him. His personality is incredibly bright...and his intelligence level seems off the charts. We are constantly amazed at the things that he does. He speaks Russian...so we have no idea what he says...but he's picking up on English quickly...and I feel will acclimate beautifully into his new environment back home.

We visit him twice a day...at 10am for about 1.5 hours...and at 5pm for an hour. We will hopefully get to push the early visit out to noon now that we are settled...and Dede's time with him is all that matters. The process from here is still a long one...and I will write it out in the next few days. We are planning in our minds to be here for another month...and anything less than that will be pudding. I am going to post quite a few pics at the bottom of the page...and will continue to in the days ahead...as he is a ham...and loves the lens. And...the lens loves him.

I look so forward to all of you meeting him...he is an angel. He is so well behaved...and has wonderful manners...and Dede's going to get mad at me for posting that...because she keeps telling me that I'm going to jinx it. It could be the calm before the storm...time will tell. For now...he is perfect!!!

I am going to close for now...any questions...please post in comments...and we will get back to you on a daily basis now. I will post all the information in the coming days...and more importantly...lots and lots of pics.

Hope everyone is well...I know that we are. I'm just wondering how I'm ever going to go back to Colorado...and leave this little guy so far behind.

Love to all...

Peace out...
Kelly(the Nomad) & Dede

Pics...pics...and more pics...

2007-07-17T08:00:00.001-07:00

I have posted some pics. I'm not nearly through...it just takes a long time...my battery's dying...and the bar is too full to get to a table near a plug. I will continue to add until done...in the coming days. This will begin to give you a feel for Odessa...the city by the sea....

Peace out...

the Nomad

Back in Kiev

2007-07-16T03:14:00.000-07:00

Good morning all...

We have arrived back in Kiev. We never thought we would be so happy to be back in this city...however we had established a comfort zone here...and have returned to it. Our apartment does not have a/c...but it is on the 5th floor so there is a great breeze that flows through...and we are comfy. Also...our new apartment is right across the street from the Radisson...and upstairs from Dede's favorite coffee shop. I am working on pics right now...just downloaded the last of my Odessa photos...and will have a complete Odessa gallery posted by day's end.

We have met a new couple from Chicago...and they have not seen any of the city yet...so we are going to take them for a tour. Then...I am all yours...and will work tirelessly to post a beautiful gallery of our excursion this past 10 days. Not to worry...I love taking...editing...and exhibiting my pics. I also have a few stories coming in the next few days.

Hope you are all wel...

We will be back with you before the sun goes down....

Friday the 13th!!!

2007-07-13T04:12:00.000-07:00

Good Friday morning everyone!!

I stayed up late last night composing a story about our days in Odessa...but fell asleep before I finished. I will post very very soon...promise. We were supposed to have internet in our present apartment...but it's a bust. We also have problems with electricity...and water...or lack there of...depending on the time of day. I feel like I'm back in Africa.

However...I did want to drop by and give you an update on the adoption process. We don't often have news...but today...we do. All we know is that we have been summoned back to Kyiv. There is no appointment set just yet...but Dima (Dede's facilitator) feels that it will be this coming week. He is working very hard to make that happen. The fact that he wants us close...is a great sign. Actually...all signs are great signs...as there are so few.

Dede and I have decided that each one of you must go home this evening...turn off the a/c...the wifi...the satellite tv...and just enjoy the silence...the sound of yourselves breathing...the heat. Then maybe you'll feel an iota of what we experience every day....
(Okay...so we just had to get a good laugh thinking about any of you actually doing any of those things). Yes...it's a tough existence...but just think of the character we're building.... hehehehe

We are going to leave Odessa on Sunday...we're just not certain how we will travel at this point. We are going to try to go by train...but it's high season and tickets are difficult to come by. Dede's never ridden a train...so I'm hoping we will be able to take an overnight journey. If not...the same young man that drove us down here will come back and drive us back to Kyiv. Once we are back in Kyiv...we have our favorite haunt...the Radisson...with fantastic wi-fi...which means more frequent posts...and more than anything...pics...pics...pics.

This trip is getting very long...but I just have to believe that the ends will justify the means.

Have a wonderful Friday the 13th everyone. Yep...I went there...reminded you...just watch out for black cats..... mwahahahaha. (Can you tell I'm getting giddy?!)

Baxton...my name is Kelly...and I am Dede's very good friend...and I am the one writing about our adventure. Thank you for reading...and leaving your words for us. We love hearing from you.

Clarice...we are so happy to know that you are doing so well. Malcolm seems to be taking the wonderful care of you that he always has. You are in our prayers daily.

Sandy...Sheri...Delicia...the pics of the punkins are priceless...and lift our spirits daily. Anyone who wants to send precious pics of their little angels...they are more than welcomed.

Stacey...Ruby says...anytime you want to come to Florence to pick up Ally & Amos...you're more than welcome. I'm sure Jack would love the company. hehehe...just kidding Ruby.

Cliff & Jerry...please send us your email address.

Thanks to everyone for your prayers and words of encouragement.

Little Kelley...I'll take you anywhere on this globe you want to go. You pick the place...we'll make a plan. I DO know how to travel... : )

Have a great weekend all. But check back...I'll have a story about the city by the sea soon.

Peace out...

Dede & the Nomad....

Our life in Ukraine...

2007-07-09T23:48:00.000-07:00

Had I written about Ukraine before now…I’m afraid that the painting I would have created might have been dingy…dark…and gray. Having spent the last five days in Odessa…I may now throw splashes of color upon the canvas. Although the pictures that I previously posted are representative of a seemingly colorful city…and those places of beauty do exist…they are few…and far between. In this nomad’s opinion…Kyiv is many things: vibrant…is not one of them. I don’t say this to offend in any way…I only speak of what I feel. And…I gave the city a chance…it didn’t seem to give much back.

The people. I cannot figure out the people. I imagine having lived much of your life under the iron fist of soviet rule…would tend to blanket your existence in a fog of darkness. However…having lived the last 16+ years in a world of freedom…and independence…one would hope to believe that the fog had lifted…and the light had crept in. When I look into the faces of these people…I don‘t see illumination…there are still many shadows.

I ask questions…a lot. I am a tour guide’s worst nightmare. We don’t often have the ear of English speaking Ukrainians…but when we do…I fire away. The first question that I always ask is…“which do you prefer…communism…or democracy?” Surprisingly…the scales tend to lean more heavily on the dark side. Well…I call it dark. It always seemed so from my side of that iron curtain. The pictures that were painted in my school books were those of oppression…hunger…greed…the KGB. However…healthcare was free…education was free…and both much better than they are today. Kira…an older woman from St. Petersburg…said that today…if you go to the doctor…and he/she is a young man or woman…you turn and walk out the door. They do not believe that the education received today is enough to qualify you as a physician. It is my understanding that medical licenses here…are not recognized in our country. Nursing is much the same. Being qualified to practice in this region of the world…does not qualify you to practice in America. Here in Ukraine you may also go to law school straight out of high school. I guess that tells you all you need to know about that.

When communism collapsed on this side of the globe…many people that had been comfortable with good jobs…good pensions…lost it all. At their ages it was tough to find a new job…and retirement was not an option. I believe however…that those people fortunate enough to be secure with solid jobs…were very much the minority. We see many old women begging in the streets. We give to every one of them. They have nothing…and at their age…they have no way of getting anything. I was told that the government gives them around $75 a month. I am not certain of the true wisdom of the source…but from the looks of things here…it would tend to lean towards the side of truth.

The younger folks that we have met all enjoy the new Ukraine. They enjoy the freedom that they have to experience western culture. They love the hip-hop music that resonates from their mp3 players…the clothing trends they see on the pages of once forbidden fashion magazines… & McDonalds. Wow…do they love McDonalds. At any given time the lines back up to the door of the restaurant. The one I’m speaking of is on Deribasovska Street. Deribasovska is a cobblestone pedestrian thoroughfare that runs through the city center of Odessa. The road is lined on each side with cafes of diverse cuisines…and varying degrees of style and ambiance. Each establishment very unique and interesting in it‘s composition. We’ve tried a few…but tend to return more than not to the steakhouse that we visited our first day here. The atmosphere is warm and inviting…the food very good…and the prices quite reasonable. I’m not certain what the name of the place is…but it’s the one with the cow out front…in case you’re ever in the area.

While Kyiv left me feeling cold and uninterested…Odessa has more of a warm almost jovial feel in the air. I knew the minute my feet hit the ground here…that this place was different. They actually refer to it as the “humor capital” of the region. The biggest holiday here is April Fool’s day…which is celebrated with parades and comedic festivals. The people here smile. They even laugh. The energy is bright…colorful…positive. People from Odessa consider themselves Odessites first…then Ukrainian…or Russian second…if at all. While the contrast in the culture is hugely different from one city to the next…so is there a contrast in the cities themselves. Kyiv is a very large city. It is reasonably modern…with a sturdy infrastructure in place to support the 4 million residents within. There is no shortage of architectural styles from baroque…to Romanesque…gothic…to Byzantine…and more. While the city is full of beautiful colors on the sides of buildings and cathedrals…it is seemingly colorless. While there are many buildings in much need of repair…the city stands strong…solid…secure. It is a large world capital that has withstood the rise and fall of the Soviet Union…the Chernobyl nuclear disaster just 60 clicks away…and the Orange Revolution just 3 years back. Although a very old country…society…culture…it is still quite youthful in it’s policies and it’s direction. It’s future…is still uncertain.

We have been five nights in Odessa…and three different apartments. When we’re not concerning ourselves with where we’ll sleep next…we’re touring the city…sitting on the beach…or taking a ferry ride across the Black Sea. Not to worry…there are plenty of places to stay…they just all only seem to be available for two days. All is well. The light that Odessa has brought to our lives was a much needed one. While the energy here is more positive…brighter…more fun…the city itself seems in an incredible state of disrepair. There are many fine restaurants…yet the living situation for many seems relatively dire. There are fewer buildings appearing structurally safe than there are those seemingly ready to topple to the ground. If there is a city code for electrical wiring…then someone’s not doing their job. It’s everywhere…and exposed for all the world to see. It is a city in the process of rebuilding. Many buildings are being refurbished…yet the course will be a long one. I’m not an authority on real estate prices back home…but have a good idea of what it will run you per square foot in most areas. I am aghast at the prices of real estate in Odessa. I’m not certain what a square foot of property would run you on the island of Manhattan…but I’m thinking that it is quite comparable to the prices here in Odessa. We are presently staying in a 600 sq. ft. one bedroom apartment that is…well…the dumpiest we’ve seen so far. It is on the market for $300,000. Did I mention it’s a dump? Oh yeah…just a line back. We have no a/c…no internet access…and it would be difficult to cook a real meal in the very small and sparse kitchen. You can barely turn around in the bathroom…which doubles as a laundry room with the washing machine right in the middle. There are no clothes dryers here…you hang them out to dry. Actually…I have found in my recent travels all over Europe…that dryers are just not found in homes. In Italy I would wash my clothes…then carry them across town to a Laundromat to dry them. I have yet to see a Laundromat in Ukraine. So far…we mostly wash by hand…and hang to dry. We don’t much care for the apartment we’re in now…but it’s only for a few days. The place we had to leave before landing here…had digital cable…which meant English speaking tv channels…internet access…and a huge Jacuzzi tub. We each soaked daily…and laughed how we hadn’t felt that clean since we left the states. We are spoiled Americans. We can rough it with the best of them…we’ve had to…but we have come to the agreement that we do enjoy the amenities…and will hold out next time for the right place. Hopefully we will only move one more time while in Odessa.

Right around the corner is the Opera and Ballet House. It is utterly exquisite. It has been ranked in the same league as such masterpieces of European architecture as La Scala in Milan…and the Vienna Opera House. It is presently under repair…and has been for quite some time. It’s history is a dramatic one…not unlike the productions that have filled it’s halls for many centuries past. The original building was constructed in the early 19th century only to be completely destroyed by fire in 1873. However…new construction lead by the great Viennese architect team of Felner & Gelmer…lead to the opening in 1887 of a grander… more beautiful opera than it’s fateful predecessor. During German occupation in WWII…holes were drilled in the foundation and filled with dynamite to destroy the structure…however the Germans loved Odessa…believing the city would one day be their own…and chose to save as much of the beauty of the city as possible. The building was secured. Due to these holes as well as cracks in the foundation due to engineering errors…the structure has been sinking over the years and tends to lean a bit towards the sea. I am disappointed that we will not get the chance to experience a performance in this wondrous institution due to it’s being closed for repairs. Such is life.

We have met quite a few people here…namely a young man named Chris Royce. He is from Philadelphia but has resided here for the last 4 years. He is just about one of the most handsome men we’ve ever seen. As a matter of fact…he was a model in his younger days. He speaks Russian…and has become a wonderful host for us while we are here. Last evening we went out on the town…acted much like kids…staying out to all hours at a disco on the beach. Today…we feel very old. Tomorrow we will venture out to yet another beach for a little fun in the sun.

There is much more to the story…but I will save it for another day…another blog. Thank you all for your patience this past week…it’s been somewhat of a whirlwind. We have stayed busy as to keep our minds off of our surroundings…the situation…the waiting. As for the adoption process…well…you are still as well informed as we are. We have not heard a thing. Dede’s getting a bit antsy…and definitely frustrated…but as long as we keep moving…she’ll be fine. I have so many pics to post…but the internet on the corner is way too slow to upload. I will be in better touch this week…and try to get something new posted every few days. It may be a blog…or pics…but I’ve been working hard on both to try to get something new to you. We hope that all of you are well back home…and hope to be able to send you some good news real soon.

Thank you for stopping by….

Peace…

Your humble blogging nomad…

Thanks....

2007-07-03T03:21:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to say thanks to everyone for all the support you've shown since this adventure started. The comments you have all sent are so very welcome. I know this is not going to be an easy process... but I knew that from day one 2 1/2 years ago when I started all the paper work for this adoption.. I am having lunch at the Radisson as I am posting this. It's our favorite hangout here, mostly because the people speak English and I know what I'm eating.Can I just say that I'm glad to be a citizen of the good ole U S of A. I know I will have a better appreciation for all the amenities we generally take for granted there. Continue keeping me in your thoughts and prayers, I know they are helping. I know that God has a plan for me so I just put my faith that He knows what is best for me. To everyone at work,, miss you guy's a lot..however I don't miss not working..ha ha. Hopefully I will get another appointment to go back to the adoption center soon. If it is going to be a week or two before i get another appt. we are going to travel to the coast. According to the pictures i've seen, it is beautiful . Maybe Kelly can get some great pictures, Kiev has not been the most picturesque place.The hotels actually have satellite and internet access Love to you all.....Dede

Meeting the child...

2007-07-02T07:34:00.000-07:00

It is as we believed it would be. Dede did not choose the little boy this morning. When the meeting was set-up...she knew that the chances of this child being a match were slim...but there's always hope. He was precious. He seemed to be a bit older than 2.5...closer to 3 maybe. He was found in a hotel when he was an infant...so all information was made up for his birth certificate. He didn't talk...but we got him laughing quite a bit. He did walk...but you could tell that it was quite new to him. He was still a bit apprehensive in his steps. Although it is understandable that all kids in his situation will have developmental issues...the depth of his seemed to be more than just environmental. He fluttered his eyes a few times...his arms tended to flail a bit when he walked...and we did catch him rocking a time or two. Each incident seemingly minor...yet the combination lending quite possibly to a more serious issue. Most importantly...Dede just did not feel the connection. Upon departure from the orphanage...she felt twinges of guilt...but it's a lifelong decision...and it must be the right one. She has petitioned for another appointment...and it could come tomorrow...next week...or next month. We truly have not a clue. We will update you as soon as we know.

We are sitting at the Radisson...famished...waiting on dinner. I wanted to post a quick comment to inform you of the meeting. I will compose a longer post about the process as soon as my brain has been fed. It's been a very long...confusing...chaotic day. The first of many...I'm sure. Dede would also like to post a few words to thank you all for your thoughts. You'll be able to tell which post is hers...it'll be the one with the commas... : )

Peace...

Pics!!

2007-07-01T06:19:00.001-07:00

I have posted some pics in the gallery below. I hope you enjoy.

Tomorrow we are off to the orphanage in the a.m. I will post as soon as we return.

Prayers and positive thoughts for Dede are very welcome and needed right now....

Peace and love to all....

Understanding Ukraine

2007-06-29T21:13:00.000-07:00

Wow...the pressure is on. Postings every day?!?! I will try.

Confusion is the best word that I can come up with to describe our visit to Kiev thus far. We are settling in…and getting a feel for the city…the culture…the people…but it has taken a few days…and a bit of frustration to reach this point. I suppose that I have become somewhat spoiled to the fact that most of Europe is “American friendly.” As a matter of fact…it has always been quite amazing to me that every place that I have visited seems to cater to English speaking tourists. This year I have spent quite a bit more time outside of the U.S. than I have at home. I have never found a language barrier…and have had no problems finding English speaking tours…or English printed tour guides. Here in Kiev…I have met my match. As a matter of fact…I’m not even certain at this point which language is the most prominent here…Ukrainian…or Russian. My studies led me to believe that it was Ukrainian…therefore the language guide that I purchased prior to leaving is Ukrainian. However…the few English speaking people that we have encountered have informed us that Russian is more widely spoken here than any other language. Since I cannot tell the difference…it tends toward the confusing. Pointing and nodding seems to be a universal language…so we’ll go with that for the time being. We have found that many restaurants do have English menus if you ask. So far…so good. We have yet to sample authentic Ukrainian cuisine…as we are not truly certain what that consists of. We found a fantastic Italian restaurant called Mille Miglia…and an even better sushi restaurant called Nobu. Both are within minutes of our apartment…and the servers spoke English. Maybe we’re just opting for the easy way out. It’s just the beginning…and we have a long way to go. I’m certain in time…we will experience it all.

Sightseeing is what we do most. I finally found a really good English guide book…with pictures. Pictures are a must…since all the signs on the sides of the cathedrals…monasteries…and government buildings are in Ukrainian. The first few days we would stand before the façade of an incredibly beautiful church…and have no clue what we were looking at. Today…we know. With a guide book in hand…we can actually venture out with direction…instead of aimlessly wandering from one place to another. I kind of like aimless…but this is a very large city…and direction is the only way to see it all.

When I was a child…the U.S.S.R. seemed a very scary place to me. It existed behind an “iron curtain”…and was our enemy in what was referred to as “the cold war.” You heard talk of “red phones”…the infamous "button"…and nuclear war. We as a country did not even participate in the 1980 olympics in Moscow. I knew as a child that I wanted to see the world. I also remember saying more than a few times…that I never wanted to visit Russia. Of course at the time…Russia meant the entire Soviet Union. I knew no better. I suppose I was afraid. Well…here I am…sort of…close enough. Where I sit typing this today…was a part of the Soviet Union. At that time…I considered it to be Russia. It is not. It is Ukraine. At the end of the cold war…Ukraine fought hard for it’s independence…with immense success. They wear it proudly…and they celebrate this weekend in it’s honor. I suppose that’s where the confusion comes in. Breaking free from Russia has been of immense importance to these people…yet the culture tends to lean more towards Russian. I’m certain that the history is just too vast for me to comprehend in such a short amount of time. Hopefully I will come to understand it better while I'm here. It will be very important for Dede to understand it…as she will have a native child soon…and it will be important to teach that child about his/her heritage.

Yesterday we stayed close to home. That was my fault. I needed a "time out." You see...we get stared at...a lot. With stares...come snickers. However...when you smile...they never smile back. I'm not exaggerating. They never smile. It's difficult to get used to. I'm not certain whether as a culture they are unhappy...distrusting...or just don't like us in general. Since a few days ago I had to chase a thief down the rode to retrieve my camera that he stole...I think it should be us who are distrusting. When I caught the guy...and took the camera away from him...his response was..."oh...excuse me." Really!?!?! That's all ya got? Well...needless to say...I had a few choice words for him. Since this is a G-rated movie...I will leave those words to your imagination. What I wish I had done...was kick him where it counts. I know I should feel better having not done so...but I don't. I still wish I had kicked him where it counts. It is kind of my fault however. I sat my camera down...turned my back...(all the while knowing that I should not be setting my camera down)...and it was gone in a second. If I had not turned back around when I did...it would be gone...and I would be a very sad nomad. Live...and learn. I normally keep the strap wrapped at least three times around my arm to avoid this very thing. What was I thinking? I will not make that mistake again.

Today is another day of sightseeing. I want to check in with the U.S. Embassy...and we will head towards the botanical gardens as well as a number of cathedrals. There are over 300 churches in Kiev alone...so I will post many pictures of golden domes this weekend. They are my favorite too...Byzantine...mosaics...fantastic!!!

Peace out...

Rantings of a Tired Nomad....

2007-06-28T08:09:00.000-07:00

Hello American friends. Okay…well…hmmmm. I woke up this morning very early (about 3am) a bit concerned that maybe I “freaked your freak” last night with the description of the child that Dede has chosen to visit on Monday. You see…they don’t paint a pretty picture about any of the children…so you must choose the lesser of all evils. I am certain if given her druthers…Dede’s answer would have been “none of the above”…but you have to have faith. It’s all basically a game…as sad as that sounds…but it is. You have to choose your strategy…and hope and pray that in the end…you have chosen wisely. I’m not certain who first said it…or at what point in history it was said…but someone definitely decided long ago that life…is a game. I know this…because I’ve read it in books…seen it in movies…heard it on numerous talk shows…and even pulled it out of a box to play with my friends as a young child. They were wrong.
We’ve been taught all our lives that if we behave a certain way…then others around us will behave in a certain way…and so on…and so forth. It’s called manipulation. Does it work? Oh heck yeah. It works all the time. Is it right?…is it fair?…I suppose it depends on who you ask. You see…in a game…someone always wins. But in a game…someone also has to lose. What bothers me most…is that in the game we are playing here…when the system wins…everyone loses. These children are not pawns on a chess board to be moved around at the will of government bureaucrats. They are children in need…of love…of hope…of homes.

Dede…Dana…and myself sat yesterday afternoon discussing this situation until a collective smoke swirled from our ears. We agreed…as I’m certain every single person reading these words right now agrees…that the adoption process is a flawed one. Not just here…everywhere. And yes…that includes the grand ole U.S. of A. If it was perfect there?…why would we be here? Millions of wonderful children need homes. Millions of wonderful homes need children. Doesn’t sound all that difficult to me. But it is. You see…much of it is based on pride. If these countries were getting it right…there wouldn’t be so many kids in orphanages. The number of kids in orphanages is a black eye on the government of the country itself. My experience is in Africa…where adoption outside of the country is not allowed. Well…unless your name is Madonna…or Angelina Jolie…and you have enough dough to grease the palms of the proper officials. It sounds like I think that is wrong…au contraire…grease away ladies. Those children will have better lives than every single person that they encountered in their young lives prior to being given the good homes that they have now. You see…if I had movie star funds…the kids at my orphanage (Heritage of Faith & Hope Children’s Home in Mlolongo, Kenya) would have the 1.5 million dollar facility that they so desire to build. (Thanks for letting me give a shout out to my kids). What I have a problem with…is that adoption is a “kids for sale” business. Why is it so hard? Why does it cost so much? Why don’t governments take better care of these unfortunate children? I don’t have the answers…I’m just not afraid to voice my opinion…and ask the hard questions.

I know that it’s not always as bad as I seem to be painting it…but more often than not…it’s a long tough road. I know that the safety and well being of the children is at stake in every instance…therefore caution is necessary in the placement. I know that the just rewards are enough to make most forget the turmoil of the process. I know that many believe that a family consists of a mother…a father…and a child. Some believe that a single parent home is not the right home for a child. As a matter of fact…our trip here was contingent upon a bill that the Ukrainian government is trying to pass ceasing all adoption to single parents. It did not pass…yet. It could be brought back up in September.

I have another hard question. Why should a child grow up in an environment that allows for no unconditional love…no real support forces? Why should children be subjected to malnourishment leading to slow development? Why is any child ever “aged out of the system?” Why…when there are incredibly wonderful people like my friend Dede who ache to have a child of their own. It makes no sense. And…it breaks my heart.

We all have our own definitions of what a family really is. Mine…a group of people who love and support each other unconditionally. It’s that simple. Dede has been my friend my entire adult life. She has been there for me through the highs and the lows…the thick and the thin. She has stood by my side when people with the same blood as mine running through their veins turned away. Dede…is family to me. The people in my life that know me best…and support me most…have not one allele in common with me. In the big picture…love…is all that really matters. When everyone gets that…well…can you imagine the world we would live in?

Okay…so that sound you hear is me climbing off of my soapbox. I had something to say…a forum to say it…and I did. Agree or not…thanks for listening. The sun sits high in the sky now…and I suppose I am up for the day. Waking up at 3am with these thoughts on your mind…a love of the written word…and a laptop…well…you see the result.

I will be back soon with a brighter topic. Since we don’t go to meet the child until Monday…I need some space filler. So…that means…you may have to endure a few days of Ukrainian travelogue blog. It is a very unique environment…and I will tell you all about it shortly.

I hope that I haven’t darkened your day with my drivel. However…I hope that I have opened your thoughts to dialogue on the unfortunate circumstances that so many people endure in order to become parents. Someone has the solution…somewhere. We just have to believe….

Peace…

P.S. Diane...I have pics...just uploaded them...but I have to shrink them to post them. That takes a little time. I will post them on Friday.

P.P.S. Your comments are heartwarming...and priceless...thank you all

The First Meeting

2007-06-27T09:26:00.000-07:00

Oleg...Dede's facilitator/attorney picked us up at around 9:40am to take us to the adoption office. He warned on the way that Dede might not have a meeting...that there were presently no children available but that they would advise her on writing a letter to send...and that she would have a meeting within a week or two. That however...was not the case. Julie...the interpreter...escorted us into the psychologist's office where Dede was given files and pictures on 5 children. First...she was told that domestic adoption was very active presently...and that there were no "healthy" children available for international adoption. To explain that a bit further...an "unhealthy" or "sick" child usually means that they are developmentally challenged. Consider the fact that these children have lived most or all of their very young lives in an orphanage...with little or no guidance...and noone to assist in their development...therefore...most of the young children are considered to have "health" issues. Dede's first choice is a young girl under the age of two. They showed her 3 boys ages 2.5, 2.5, 3...and a little girl aged 4. You are only allowed to meet one child...and...although none of these met her preferred criteria...she decided to meet one of the little boys for several reasons. For starters...it is important not to offend...or to seem ambivalent towards the children that are shown to you. She also felt that it is important to get a feel for the process.

The young boy that Dede has chosen to meet was born in January of 2005. He was literally found in the street when he was about 6 months old. I know...I just heard your collective sigh clear across the globe. We did too. He does not speak...and has just recently begun to walk. They say that he is also quite weak. It is not a perfect choice by any means...and for the child to be so underdeveloped at this age could be deeper rooted problems than just the fact that he has lived in an orphanage without much attention his entire life. Dede has been a pediatric nurse her entire adult life...so health issues are not a major roadblock. The child is relatively close to Kiev...about an hour's drive...and we will go to meet him on Monday. It is a major holiday this weekend...therefore the city shuts down tomorrow for a long festive weekend...or we would be going tomorrow. After meeting and spending time with the child...she will set up a second meeting...which could be anywhere from two weeks to another month. This could be a long trip.

There is a lady staying in the same apartment building...Dana Hale...from Virginia...who is here adopting two older children...13 & 16 year old sisters. She adopted a young boy from Russia 4 years ago. He is with her here...he is 5.5...and he is precious. She is very knowledgeable about the region...the process...and is a great person to have close by. She is leaving however on Friday.

We do not believe that there are no healthy children...Dede just believes that they are testing her will...and her desire. I know Dede. She definitely has the will...and the desire. They will not break her.

My battery is dying...and I must sign off. I believe that is all of the information that I have about the process today...but if I think of anything that I have missed...I will update you in the morning. Thanks for stopping by....

Peace...

Dede & the Nomad...
(sounds like a cheesy 70's TV show) hehehe

We made it!!!

2007-06-27T03:41:00.000-07:00

We have arrived. The trip over was nothing if not eventful. Delta could not keep up there end of the bargain and get us out of Atlanta on time (we sat on the tarmac for 1.5 hours)…and we missed our connector in Paris. We did get a flight within a few hours…but getting that done was a test of strength within itself. We opted for the earliest flight out on “Ukraine Airways”…something that raised both of our eyebrows…but we both slept the entire length of the flight…leaving all concerns behind. Our arrival in Kiev was a bit confusing…as we were not really sure of anything but the fact that someone would meet us…at some time…and take us…somewhere. After a few hours of people watching…a young man named Sergei arrived…and drove us about 40 minutes into the city center…and to our apartment. Dede was surprised to see a Shell station on the way in. I was not surprised to see three McDonald’s. We did pass the Hyatt-Regency (Diane)…which seemed to perk Dede up quite a bit.

We are in an older residential neighborhood. Well…of course…everything here is “older”…for the most part. There is a market on the corner…and several restaurants nearby…however…we cannot read word one on the menu…so dinner consisted of Power Bars that we hauled from home. Once we meet our translator…we will start a journal of food related words…so that we can learn how to navigate the menus better. I’m certain at the American based hotel chains…Hyatt…Radisson…they will have English on the menus as well. We will learn more in time. Then…there’s always that old stand-by…Mickey Ds.

The sun doesn’t drop around here until around 10pm…and greets us again by 4:30am…which Dede knows all too well this morning. There is no A/C…so we slept with windows wide open allowing for plenty of sunshine…very early. I am wide awake and writing this to you at 5:30am…and am heading out with my camera soon to capture the city at sunrise. Dede did not sleep very well…as her meeting is at 10am this morning…and the butterflies are settling in. Dima will pick us up around 9:30 this morning…and we are off to meeting number one where Dede will be given pictures of several children and will decide from these pictures which one/ones she would like to meet.

Great news. During my early morning outing…I found that the Radisson is just a few blocks away. They have free wi-fi throughout…so I will be able to post daily. I will post information on the meeting Wednesday afternoon. Stay tuned…

Dozustrchi…

The Nomad
…& Dede

Welcome

2007-06-23T18:21:00.000-07:00

Greetings...

For those of you who don't know me...let me introduce myself. My name is Kelly Wilson...I live in Golden, CO...I have been close friends with Dede for almost 25 years...and I am the blognomad.

On June 25th, 2007...a new adventure begins. This is not my journey...per se...it is Dede's journey. I am the sidekick...the wing(wo)man...the photojournalist. Although it is Dede's journey...I will share with her the adventure. And...I will share that adventure...with all of you.

The destination...Kiev, Ukraine. The reason...fulfilling Dede's dream of becoming a mother. It has been a long and arduous journey for her...but the time is near...and prayers are more than welcome.

Those of you who have followed my blog...know that I tend to be more narrative in the tone of my postings. And...during this adventure I will certainly try to toss a short story or two your way. However...what is most important here...is keeping all of you apprised of the process that Dede is undergoing. I am not certain yet how the internet set-up will be in Ukraine. Kiev has come a very long way since it's independence in 1991...and I feel certain that we will find everything that we need...and then some. Dede's already worried about which 5-star hotel we're going to steal away to when need be. I did it in Africa every few weeks. I feel her.

Once we leave Kiev however...and venture out into the smaller towns...it may be tougher to find an internet connection. I will let you know ahead of time where and when we are going...in case you don't hear from us for a few days. I was surprised however in Africa...that every small hovel I found myself in...there always seemed to be an internet cafe. No water oftentimes...but they definitely had cell phones...and internet. We will have a cell phone while in Ukraine...but will not know the number until we have arrived and purchased a sim card. We will pass that number along as soon as is possible.

This will be the first time Dede's feet land on foreign soil. I will be ready with Canon in hand the first time she encounters that feeling that many of us know...but that many of you may have yet to feel. My mission...as the blognomad...is hopefully to instill a sense of adventure...in everyone that reads my words. I know I've already sold quite a few of you...maybe during this pilgrimage...I can snag a few more.

Monday...I will meet Dede at the Atlanta airport. From there we will travel through Paris...and on to Kiev. We have less than an hour in Paris...so it could get tight. The kicker however is...that if Delta can't seem to make their way out of that very organized and consistent Hartsfield Airfield and into Paris on time...and we miss our flight....well...a few extra hours in Paris to drag Dede on the Metro and over to the Champs-Elycees...would not be a bad thing. It's a win-win situation. The meeting is not until Wednesday...so we are set for time either way. Once settled in...we will venture out to find a phone store...and an internet cafe...and give everyone an update.

I'm very excited about this adventure for so many reasons. I also might add...a wee bit nervous. And...I don't get nervous. But rest assured...to all of Dede's loved ones out there (and there are many...she's easy to love)...I will stand by her side every step of the way. I promise that she will be well taken care of. It's going to be exciting...yet intense...and oftentimes stressful for her...but...she will never be alone. I will support her every step of the way.

About my somewhat "Ludlumesque" title. It was just for fun at first...but I like it...it stays. You see...everything about Dede's journey for the last 2.5 years to get to this point...was contingent upon something else. To have reached this point...is the answer to many prayers...from many people. Dede is very thankful to each and every one of you for your constant support. However...I ask you for her...to continue it coming. She has reached a critical point...but this is just the beginning.

I opened up the comments to anyone. I don't know if that's new...or if I just didn't know any better last time. You will not have to join anything...or have a password...but you will be prompted to copy a letter code before posting...so that we don't get blog spammed. I encourage you to send Dede a few words from home every so often. I know from experience how important it is to get that support.

With all that being said.....

...follow along

...see you in Kiev (which henceforth will be referred to by it's given name...Kyiv)

Peace to you and yours...

The Nomad

BlogNav 101

2007-06-11T01:55:00.001-07:00

How to get around my blog.

The postings will always be Last In-First Out (LIFO). I only post 2-3 blogs per page depending on their length. Their is an archive on the right side of the blog page where you will find every blog posted. Remember...the top blog will be the newest blog.

There is a list of weblinks on the right as well. I have a link to my two other sites (check em out)...as well as several Ukraine adoption sites. If anyone knows of a site I need to post...let me know...I will add it.

There will be a picture gallery at the bottom of the page. I have posted a few that I captured from the web...but will replace them with my own and more as they become available.

Below each posting is a "comments" link. You can read others comments...as well as post your own. Once you have written your comment...you will be asked to copy a word code (this is to keep out the blog spam). At the bottom you will be asked to say who you are. If you are not a member of google/blogger...you can click on "Other"...and it will ask you for your name. That's all you need. You do NOT have to put a weblink. However...you can if you have one and want to share it with others.

To the right of the "comments" link is a picture of an envelope. You can click here and email the post.

I hope this helps everyone navigate my blogpage. Any questions...let me know...

Peace...

The Nomad