Rantings of a Tired Nomad....

Hello American friends. Okay…well…hmmmm. I woke up this morning very early (about 3am) a bit concerned that maybe I “freaked your freak” last night with the description of the child that Dede has chosen to visit on Monday. You see…they don’t paint a pretty picture about any of the children…so you must choose the lesser of all evils. I am certain if given her druthers…Dede’s answer would have been “none of the above”…but you have to have faith. It’s all basically a game…as sad as that sounds…but it is. You have to choose your strategy…and hope and pray that in the end…you have chosen wisely. I’m not certain who first said it…or at what point in history it was said…but someone definitely decided long ago that life…is a game. I know this…because I’ve read it in books…seen it in movies…heard it on numerous talk shows…and even pulled it out of a box to play with my friends as a young child. They were wrong.
We’ve been taught all our lives that if we behave a certain way…then others around us will behave in a certain way…and so on…and so forth. It’s called manipulation. Does it work? Oh heck yeah. It works all the time. Is it right?…is it fair?…I suppose it depends on who you ask. You see…in a game…someone always wins. But in a game…someone also has to lose. What bothers me most…is that in the game we are playing here…when the system wins…everyone loses. These children are not pawns on a chess board to be moved around at the will of government bureaucrats. They are children in need…of love…of hope…of homes.

Dede…Dana…and myself sat yesterday afternoon discussing this situation until a collective smoke swirled from our ears. We agreed…as I’m certain every single person reading these words right now agrees…that the adoption process is a flawed one. Not just here…everywhere. And yes…that includes the grand ole U.S. of A. If it was perfect there?…why would we be here? Millions of wonderful children need homes. Millions of wonderful homes need children. Doesn’t sound all that difficult to me. But it is. You see…much of it is based on pride. If these countries were getting it right…there wouldn’t be so many kids in orphanages. The number of kids in orphanages is a black eye on the government of the country itself. My experience is in Africa…where adoption outside of the country is not allowed. Well…unless your name is Madonna…or Angelina Jolie…and you have enough dough to grease the palms of the proper officials. It sounds like I think that is wrong…au contraire…grease away ladies. Those children will have better lives than every single person that they encountered in their young lives prior to being given the good homes that they have now. You see…if I had movie star funds…the kids at my orphanage (Heritage of Faith & Hope Children’s Home in Mlolongo, Kenya) would have the 1.5 million dollar facility that they so desire to build. (Thanks for letting me give a shout out to my kids). What I have a problem with…is that adoption is a “kids for sale” business. Why is it so hard? Why does it cost so much? Why don’t governments take better care of these unfortunate children? I don’t have the answers…I’m just not afraid to voice my opinion…and ask the hard questions.

I know that it’s not always as bad as I seem to be painting it…but more often than not…it’s a long tough road. I know that the safety and well being of the children is at stake in every instance…therefore caution is necessary in the placement. I know that the just rewards are enough to make most forget the turmoil of the process. I know that many believe that a family consists of a mother…a father…and a child. Some believe that a single parent home is not the right home for a child. As a matter of fact…our trip here was contingent upon a bill that the Ukrainian government is trying to pass ceasing all adoption to single parents. It did not pass…yet. It could be brought back up in September.

I have another hard question. Why should a child grow up in an environment that allows for no unconditional love…no real support forces? Why should children be subjected to malnourishment leading to slow development? Why is any child ever “aged out of the system?” Why…when there are incredibly wonderful people like my friend Dede who ache to have a child of their own. It makes no sense. And…it breaks my heart.

We all have our own definitions of what a family really is. Mine…a group of people who love and support each other unconditionally. It’s that simple. Dede has been my friend my entire adult life. She has been there for me through the highs and the lows…the thick and the thin. She has stood by my side when people with the same blood as mine running through their veins turned away. Dede…is family to me. The people in my life that know me best…and support me most…have not one allele in common with me. In the big picture…love…is all that really matters. When everyone gets that…well…can you imagine the world we would live in?

Okay…so that sound you hear is me climbing off of my soapbox. I had something to say…a forum to say it…and I did. Agree or not…thanks for listening. The sun sits high in the sky now…and I suppose I am up for the day. Waking up at 3am with these thoughts on your mind…a love of the written word…and a laptop…well…you see the result.

I will be back soon with a brighter topic. Since we don’t go to meet the child until Monday…I need some space filler. So…that means…you may have to endure a few days of Ukrainian travelogue blog. It is a very unique environment…and I will tell you all about it shortly.

I hope that I haven’t darkened your day with my drivel. However…I hope that I have opened your thoughts to dialogue on the unfortunate circumstances that so many people endure in order to become parents. Someone has the solution…somewhere. We just have to believe….

Peace…

P.S. Diane...I have pics...just uploaded them...but I have to shrink them to post them. That takes a little time. I will post them on Friday.

P.P.S. Your comments are heartwarming...and priceless...thank you all